3 Ways Brexit Affects Sustainability
9 years ago
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Entry # 3: So go ahead, Take it all.
Luisa Del Forno, beloved wife of Italian Movie director sensation, Guido Contini, stole my heart with this extremely emotional number during the latest movie/musical: Nine.
Marion Cotillard-Luisa Del Forno plays victim of Guido's fugitive heart.
Forgiving all these years, even after discovering relational challenges of deception in their marriage (the secret love affair between Guido and his mistress: Carla) Luisa finally loses it during an audition screening she attends: "thank you for reminding me that I'm not special".
The differences in personality goals are crucial reasons for the dissolution of the relationship.
Luisa is focused on saving the marriage. She centers her time and attention towards providing emotional support to her husband. She wants to identifies with the 'WE'.
Guido on the other hand, is focused on his work needs and pleasures. He identifies only with the "I"
She displays through song, her unfulfilled relational needs and that Guido's self centered nature is the 'conflict' in their relationship. He wants it all.
With the Equity theory in mind, there is no balance to maintain the long term viability and vitality of the relationship.
"You grabbed for everything my friend,
but don't you see that in the end,
there will be nothing left of me"
And clearly indicates her interest in disengaging the relationship:
" It's time to leave, If I'm to live"
If you haven't caught the show, I hope you find the opportunity to do so. Although the movie was titled NINE, it highlights his interpersonal relationships with SEVEN significant women.
It was only titled NINE because the movie was centered around a significant number of events that took place during this age, which attributed to his continued immoral social life.
At a point of the movie, there is a final life-saving interruption—-from his nine year old self, in which the young Guido points out it is time to move on. To grow up.
It's taking a lot of me to abstain from feminist comments, so do give me some credit for it.
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For many , relational rewards are considered or expected before commiting to a relatiopnship. In this case, Luisa wants love only love from her husband. However, her husband has a different set of goals. This leads to the many conflicts and its relational dissolution. And that ultimately is the reasons because even when Luisa is able to forgive her husband's cheating ways, it did not work out.
ReplyDeleteIn response to "It's taking a lot of me to abstain from feminist comments".. well. Women cheat on men too. haha
Just my two kents worth.
Great minds think alike. I did an entry about Carla. As for Luisa, it is not fair that Guido placed his wants and needs above her welfare. It was selfish on his part which is the root of the dissolution of their marriage.
ReplyDeleteThis could very well move into a gender related debate. Ken says that women cheat on men too. But the statistics are higher for the latter. Plus the movie had a very Male chauvinist perception and the detrimental effects of it. I guess it's a very good eye opener for both genders?
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree that women cheat too. However, we are talking about this movie and in this movie, we get to see from Guido's point of view. It shows how fickle he is and it got down to the real reason why he treats women the way he did. However,even though we got to know what went on in his mind..it does not mean we, the viewers can sympathize for him. A cheater is always a cheater. :P
ReplyDeleteWord.
ReplyDeleteWhat about the other women? Given another chance, I would write about his muse, Nicole Kidman.
Seriously all women have different aspects of relational conflicts. Nicole's was more on how she owed Guido her successes.
As for his Muse, Nicole's character was the smarter one in a sense that even though she did owe a lot and love him, she knew who he was by nature and won't allow herself to fall for it unlike Carla and Kate Hudson's character. Thinking with your head instead of your heart might be tough to deal. But, it keeps you away from the trouble of deeper heartaches.
ReplyDeleteThis post indeed illustrates the equity theory very well. Luisa gives her all in the relationship but Guido's efforts are not balanced. In fact, with his philandering ways, it seems as if he doesn't put in any effort at all. This would fall under stagnation in Knapp's Model? It seems to be that their relationship is going nowhere.
ReplyDeleteStangnation? Hmmm... Well, Guido still wants to maintain a relationship based purely on sexual interest, so under that context, I guess it doesn't count when relating to 'proper' relationship.
ReplyDeleteIt's more of a conflict in interest perhaps?
Hahahah I love your 'feministic'self showing up.
ReplyDeleteWell, I cant seem to agree more babe. Women and men are essentially different and their take on relational issues are very different indeed. Obviously when the two are concern... there was no balance. He was getting everything he wanted out of her and our beloved wife..... nothing.
OMG. The show was great!
ReplyDeleteI think that Marion played her part really well. I felt like beating Guido up after that song. More like after he said "thank you... thank you for being you'
What is this equity theory you talk about?
It's something we learnt in communications module. About the relational needs of each party in a one to one relationship is met. I'll explain it one day. You pass me your Spanish notes first.
ReplyDeleteWow. Sounds 'intellectual' haha
ReplyDeleteWhy talk about the wife? Why not Penelope Cruz? or Nicole Kidman?
Good question Ash.
ReplyDeleteMy classmates and I went to watch the movie together as a big group. Our blog submission was also due so My classmate and I decided to write on it. Cos we loved the movie.
If given a choice I would write on Nicole Kidman as well. I think unlike Carla, she was very rational in her decision. She knew Guido's selfish wants and didn't want to engage in this affair anymore. her's was the smart move.
Hey Ashy!!!
ReplyDeleteYou went to watch the movie ah? With who? thanks for calling us along.I heard good reviews about the movie.
Showing the women's perspective of being 'used' in a relationship. Finally la! Men.... always in take take take mode!
Pam.... let's watch it together la. Mel has been raving about it.
ReplyDeleteShe said that the "Be Italian" by Fergie was as good as cell Block tango from "Chicago". I happen to love it BTWs.
Ladies,
ReplyDeleteThe movie is not screening any more.
Pam, sorry I had to delete your other post. Not appropriate for school OR minors! ahaha
Oh btw pam, i think you'd find this extremely hilarious. Talks about Men's and women's brians. Very useful for your debate topic.
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=men's+and+women's+brains&aq=0
This was a very sexist show. I didn't like the part when they glorified Guido for his ability to have so many women flocking over him.I guess he got what he deserved in the end.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the movie has some sort of truth in it. Most stars are trapped like this. Money, fame and everything but without proper concrete love. One that is true and faithful. Too late Guido!
Sang,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on the glorification on males. But isn't that the hard reality? Why do you think many people are having trouble with their relationships nowadys? Interpersonal relationships have seen to have taken a toil with the inability of couples managing their 'problems' well.
Thanks for the comment :)
I haven’t watched this show yet, but will do so soon. But from your description of the movie, I couldn’t agree more that relationships are hard to resolve and to come to common consensus and satisfy each other’s (or each others’ in this movie) needs and wants, is going to be a task and will take time. It may not even reach each of their desired wants. For a situation like this, one must be mature enough to deal with the reality of the situation and make the necessary changes. In your example, Guido, who only wants a relationship purely based on sex with his partner speaks of his interest as well as his level of commitment. Contrary to conventional beliefs, I think this sort of relationship can be considered to be a proper relationship, with the consensus of both parties of course.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of a movie that I watched recently, Vicky Christina Barcelona, where the status of a relationship is redefined. It may not be widely accepted by the society as a whole, in the concept of an open relationship (clearly shown in the above mentioned movie), but personally, I liked it a lot. You should catch that.
Sexy video and great performance by Penelope Cruz. Gotta catch the movie. Thanks for the great analysis with the communication principles as well :)
ReplyDeletei guess a realtionship you cant expect everything to come in effort = rewards kind of equation. You need to know that sometimes we need to give and take a bit, cause sometimes it is about sacrificing for the others and so it is important for us to communicate it out.Which is why comunicating of the both is needed to have the relationship going on.
ReplyDelete